This is how I feel…

About a year ago, the first real relationship I ever had with someone ended. We were together for almost 5 years. We met in college, fell in love, created beautiful memories together, and loved each other more than we loved anything else in our small, inexperienced world.

We finished school, we got jobs and we started doing the “real world thing”. Our relationship wasn’t conventional. We did long distance for all of it and any free moment either of us had, we moved mountains to see each other. We hurdled every obstacle that life threw at us the best way we knew how.

After years of being done with the distance, we decided to take the plunge and move into together. Long story short, we crashed and burned. But that’s not what this is about.

In an effort to heal myself, I rid all of the things that could bring back the memory of what once was. The pictures, ticket stubs, the photo booth pictures we took. The photos and videos on my phone. Every gift we ever got each other. As time from the split went on, I gradually got rid of the things that no longer served as memento of our relationship. At least I thought… and that’s what brings me to this today.

She would always leave little notes around my room or in things that I would see throughout my week. Inside jokes, reminders that she loved me, and other stuff that just made me feel good. Today I found the last hidden message to be discovered. In a notebook, I hadn’t used since I interviewed for my current job, was a list of questions I had written down in preparation for my interview. Under those questions, were notes from her.

I read them and I smiled. I was brought back to that feeling of pure love. That feeling of being bulletproof because someone loves you so much. This past year, as I would find small these small mementos it would send me deep into a place of hurt. However, this time it didn’t hurt.

It didn’t hurt like heartbreak or sorrow. It didn’t hurt like pain of losing someone and it didn’t hurt like missing someone. It felt like the greatest feeling in the world… Love.

Today what it brought me was the reminder that I was able to be washed in love by someone and I was able to reciprocate it.

I am grateful for her. I am grateful for our relationship. I am grateful for every memory we made. I am grateful for all 5 years of us. I am eternally grateful, I got to experience her love.

I feel compelled to share this because these are my feelings and I think these are feelings we all have experienced. In years past, I would write stuff down and never post it because I felt that nobody cared. My goal is to be more transparent and more real with myself. I want to express what I feel and stop living in the thought of what other people think. My hope is that I inspire others to be more real with themselves. My hope is that people pursue more things that scare them. My hope is more people pursue their personal freedom.

“People know that in allowing us to chase our dreams unencumbered, they are silently giving themselves permission to pursue their own.”

This is one step in pursing my Personal Freedom. I hope it inspires you do the same.

 

2019

 

On Christmas Eve,  while sitting at dinner with my dad and my sister, my dad goes into his typical “reflective end of the year questionnaire while sitting at the dinner table shtick”.  A very fun, interesting, reflective conversation for many non-Malinchok people, who think it’s a cool and thought-provoking game.  However, this is often greeted with “Dad, do we REALLY have to do this again?” by my sisters and I.  I’ll admit that I am often the one protesting this conversation the most but only because I find myself doing this amongst the people in my life that I love and care for. So, I guess its safe to say the idea that you become your parents is damn true.

My dad asked one question that stuck with me since he asked it. “If you could describe 2019 in one word, what would it be?” Shit…how do I describe a year in which was arguably the best year of my life and the most challenging year of my life in one word? After some thought, the word I chose was dynamic. The definition of dynamic according to google is,  “characterized by constant change, activity, or progress.” For me, it was the only word that truly encapsulated all that happened. 2019 was dynamic in every aspect of my life.

I grew a lot in 2019 and in that growth,  I realized I have a lot to learn and even then, it will only be sliver of what the universe has to offer. In reflecting today, on the first day of the new decade, this is what I do know:

• Life will continue to be dynamic. Life will never be static and there will never be a time that everything is perfect. Life does not work like that.
• Life will continue to bring you to the highs just as fast as it does to the lows throughout your existence on earth. Both are extremely important.
• Your mindset will be the greatest tool you will ever have to make the most of your life. It is imperative to continue to grow and develop your mindset. Your mindset will set you free.
• You must always keep going. Whether it be the challenging times of grief, sadness, anger, hopelessness, desperation or the amazing moments of happiness, success, joy, euphoria. You must always keep moving forward.
• Be patient with yourself and the people around you. We are all broken and are just trying to figure it out.
• Love. Always.

 

In typical Malinchok fashion I ask you this, how would you describe 2019 in a word?

 

Love,

 

Stephen

We are all a little Fat

No, I am not calling you taking this personally fat. We as a society are fat. Fat is not a number on a scale or a number given to you when you get your BMI done. Fat is not a pants size or a shirt size. Fat is not physical but mental.

Fat are the choices we make with food and beverage that make us kick ourselves after we have consumed that food or drink.

Fat is the decision to eat or drink more than you know you physically need.

People who are considered “skinny” by our standards today are fat. They were just blessed with genetics much stronger than I was or anyone else who has been unhappy with their weight at some point in their life.  They metabolize those excess calories better than most.

Being “physically fat” has negative health effects and should be addressed to help enhance your life and take your body to where it was meant to thrive.

Being “mentally fat” is okay as long as you balance the choices you make to help compensate for the excess food or beverage consumed.

2018 has just begun. It is a great time to reevaluate your goals and your life and see where you want to make some changes.  I encourage you to find the behaviors that make you fat and think about how you can change those. It wont hurt if we all become a little less fat.

• I seem to have this impression that all the food I LOVE to eat is going to disappear when I wake up Monday morning. So… massive amounts of things I love (pizza, pasta, wings, ice cream,etc) end up being consumed Sunday night.

• When I screw up a day of eating in the morning. It is all down hill from there. That day is a huge L for me.  I will eat crappy for the rest of the day.

• I overeat. I eat when I am not hungry and I eat more than I should.

Acknowledge the fatness then kill the fatness.

I am lost

* This was a rant in my head that I quickly started typing in Notes on my phone so excuse any grammatical errors* ( Not that I know of any either way)

I’m lost.

I’ve left two jobs where I had great relationships and friendships with the people I worked with. I was liked. It was fun. It was easy. It allowed freedom to do more things throughout my day. I could workout essentially whenever I wanted. Make my own schedule. My commute to work was literally 30 seconds.

I left it to start a new job that’s for the most part similar but has a lot of new aspects that I’m unfamiliar with. My commute is 40 miles. My truck is sexy as hell but it blows on gas. I’m doing more administrative work than I’m used too (I’m not sure if I like that or not). I’m teaching classes I’m not super familiar with. I’m learning about new things and trying to find new work friends. My workout schedule is awful right now. I don’t eat as well as I should and I’m extremely self conscious of it. I also really need to yoga and I hate stretching.

So…

I’m in a time of transition and a lot of shit is being thrown my way. Frankly, I’m overwhelmed and really not sure how long it’s going to take to figure it all out.

I do,however, know that there are some things I can control to make myself feel better. They are simple and easy for me to obtain. Low hanging fruit if you will.

1. I will sleep 8 hours every night

2. I will do a 12 hr fast overnight

3. I will eat no more than 3,000 calories

4. I will exercise 5 times a week.

5. I will stretch 20 minutes. 2 times a week

If you know me, keep me accountable. Ask me about these 5 things. I want to be called out.

Thank you

Is What I’m Doing Right?

 

Being the exercise “expert” amongst my friends and family I am asked the following questions a lot:

 

• Am I eating the right food?
• Is this the right type of exercise I should be doing?
• How many days a week should I workout?
• Am I doing this right?

 

In the past, I would say ‘well you could make this change here” or “instead of doing that try this” and a lot of times just saying no as politely as possible. I have come to realize I don’t have the answer to their questions that are going to set them on the path to figuring it all out.

I have my opinions and my own preference of how I think it will get them to where they want to be, but even that could be wrong for that individual. I can only ask the right questions to help them figure it out. The questions that need to be asked are questions that are going to lead the person to measurable results and sustainability throughout the process.

 

 

1. What are my goals?
   1. You need to have a clear understanding of what your goal is or what you can look at or feel when you say you’re happy with where you are. If you don’t know when you’ll be happy with yourself how will you know you are there?
2. What am I currently doing, and has there been steady progress to keep me interested in this process?
   1. If you have been stuck for longer than you remember it may be time to change it up before you get tired of failure and give up!
3. Am I giving myself the best chance to succeed?
   1. Depending on your goals, your process or lifestyle may need to be different than someone else to help reach your goals.
4. Am I enjoying this?
   1. Being fit, skinny, and healthy doesn’t have to suck. You may have to suffer a little bit to get to fit, skinny, and healthy but it does not have to be a terrible process. It may just take some mental rewiring on your behalf.
5. Am I being honest with myself?
   1. You need to be able to sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself and ask am I doing everything possible to achieve my goal and get where you want. If you’re not knocking on your goals door that you probably are not being honest with yourself

 

Work Works

To achieve your Fitness goals you simply have to put in the work.

 

Here are some tips that I think may be helpful:

 

1. You must be comfortable with being a little uncomfortable.
2. The hard stuff that you do not want to do, is exactly what you need to do because it will make you better.
3. To get better at what you suck at, you need to do more of it.
4. It will absolutely never happen tomorrow, this month, or even this year and you have to be okay with it. That doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen.
5. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

 

 

My industry is full of a lot of garbage. There are a lot of people who take advantage of uneducated individuals and waste their time and money. There will never ever be a quick fix for anything worth having in this life and that includes your physical goals. Please do not fall for these tricks and waste your time, money or energy. Reach out to me and I can help you or at least guide you to the right person.

 

Stephen Malinchok, CSCS

 

smalinchok@gmail.com     267-566-8854

 

** The featured image is from a show I used to watch growing up called Rob and Big. Christopher “Big Black” Boykin would always yell DO WORK SON! to his buddy Rob Dyrdek.**

Nutrition: The weakest link in my chain.

 

 

Nutrition has always been hard for me when it comes to my fitness. I don’t mind the grind of the physical work or pushing myself in the gym but when it comes to nutrition, I crumble. I have tried a fair number of the fad diets like Keto, Paleo, Zone, IIFYM (If It Fits Your Macros) but committing to one long enough to work has been tough. In my opinion, nutrition is hard. Food is everywhere throughout our lives and many, if not all, of our societal social gatherings involve food and/or alcohol. It is very easy to “cheat” on our diet when we are tired or cave to the pressure of the social environment with food.

Recently I have found success with the IIFYM (If It Fits Your Macros) way of being nutritionally accountable. IIFYM essentially allows you to eat whatever you want as long as you hit certain macronutrient targets. These would be Protein, Carbohydrates and Fat. Yes, this means you can eat candy and pizza. If you do choose to only eat candy and pizza you will hit your carbs and fat targets pretty fast and be stuck eating chicken breasts or protein shakes for the rest of your meals, Yuck! It’s a very cool system that allows you to still eat the foods you want as long as you balance it with nutritionally efficient foods.

I am believer in the idea of what gets you here, might not get you there. I used to be able to eat egg whites, chicken breast, and vegetables every meal. Now, the idea of that makes me sick. I still eat that stuff but I throw in some fun stuff to keep me happy and on track with my diet. At the moment IIFYM works for me, but it always hasn’t, with that being said, IIFYM may not work for me in the future. The best diet is the one that you can commit too. Every person will like one diet better than another, but whichever one you can adhere to is the best for you!

5 things you MUST KNOW about your Personal Trainer

5 Things you MUST KNOW about your Personal Trainer!

(Before you sign a contract)

1. Do he/she look the part?

Pay attention to the physicality of the trainer to be consistent with what you want to achieve in yourself. If you seek a runner’s physique, look for that. If you seek muscle/bulk, look for that. Looks may not necessarily indicate an education in that type of fitness regime, but it will give you some indication about how he/she trains and how they might apply that same method with you.

2. What level of education does he/she have?

Education matters. Exercise science programs educate students in anatomy & physiology, biomechanics, exercise prescription, exercise physiology, and many other important courses. A professional trainer with a degree in Exercise Science knows what to do, why to do it, and how to get it done as quickly and safely as possible. This is a better indication of proficiency than any other certification in the fitness field today.

3. What current certifications does he/she hold?

There is a wide range of certifications out there. Unfortunately, many of which can be done either over the Internet or over a weekend seminar. Some high quality and some are not. Look for individuals who have certifications from the NSCA (National Strength and Conditioning Association). The NSCA is considered the highest level of certification fitness professional can obtain. The NCSA tests are not easy and require lots of preparation for the exam and hands-on experience to pass.

4. Is this Full-Time job? Or a Part-Time hobby?

Full-Time fitness professionals care. They want to make their living helping people reach their goals when it comes to fitness. They want to be in an atmosphere where people are consistently working to better themselves and see people get stronger, faster, and healthier. If the person is part-time you can’t always guarantee that they will be focused on now only helping you but better themselves to help you, help you.

5. What recent and relevant fitness achievements can he/she share with you?

If your trainer is not consistently testing themselves and competing or working to get better than it is just a hobby for them. Real fitness professionals know that value of competition as another way to help improve their skills and, ultimately, help clients get better. How can you expect someone who doesn’t push him or her to help push you?

 

 

Stephen Malinchok is a full-time Fitness Professional with a Bachelor’s Degree in Exercise Science from  Bloomsburg University. He is a CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist) who regularly competes in local CrossFit competitions and has competed nationally in  Olympic weightlifting competitions.

 

 

Less is not always more.

Disclaimer: I know its been a long time since I’ve last posted, but I will do my best to keep writing more often.

 

Less is not always more.

 

I recently have started to lose some weight and drop some body fat. I have tried to start this as my schedule has gotten a little more hectic and I have taken on more responsibilities. You’re probably thinking this is not the ideal time to start something that requires meal preparation, planning and would make it very inconvenient if you’re not prepared. However, I am beginning to realize about myself that the busier I am the more on point I am with other aspects of my life.

I first began to realize this in college during weeks when I was very busy with schoolwork. I only had little time to do the things I enjoyed like working out, playing FIFA (and beating)  my roommates, and spending time with my girlfriend. My time spent on eating well and working out was short but it was focused and effective. As things have gotten busier lately, I am finding these things all to be true once again. There is simply less time to lose focus. So, when I am working my own fitness goals, body composition, work, furthering myself, and personal time there is little time to mess around. Whatever I am working on at the moment requires and gets all my focus and attention.

 

Often people think they need lots of time and a lot of effort needs to be spent on working towards their goals, but if its focused and effective that is much more beneficial than time spent semi-focused. Try adding more things to your schedule for two reasons. One, you’ll get more done in your day and accomplish much more. Two, it forces you to focus on that individual moment you are in because there is no time to waste!

 

Less is not always more, sometimes more is more.

Complacency Kills

 

Complacent- marked by self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.

 

Being complacent will crush everything you have worked for, created and loved. The second you are satisfied with yourself and your goals and what you have worked so hard for is the second you start to lose it.

 

Think about your life right now. Are you happy? Do you like where you live? Do you have good relationships and friendships?   Are you happy with how work is going? Do you like your job? If you answered yes to a couple of those questions, you have officially acknowledged your complacency. Now get better!

 

I am not saying its bad to be happy with your life, if I was saying that it would be pretty messed up, right? I am saying that you can get better always in everything that you are doing. It is rare to find people in this life who are literally giving everything they have to improve their situations or their lives. Those who are, are succeeding while everyone else is just getting by.

 

 

To be successful in what you do (Trust me I’m not there… Yet) you need to acknowledge where you are weak and where you can get better because chances are you can improve in many aspects of your life. You need to attack those areas because they will start to crumble. You can almost think of important things in your life as sand castles on the beach. If you do not create a solid base and keep building and improving it, the waves and wind will slowly break it down until nothing is left.

 

 

Acknowledge your complacency and then kill it before it kills you.